I’ve never really warmed to the blogging phenomenon. I’m tired of seeing acquaintances write blog posts with ill thought out solutions to gun violence in America. I’m also tired of seeing acquaintances curate their lives into flawlessly beautiful fantasy land blogs. Neither of those resonate with me. So needless to say, I’ve never really had a desire to blog. My daily life is certainly not perfect or beautiful and I’m not great at articulating my opinions, so blogging has never really occurred to me. But on January 2nd, 2016 I will be going to Bangalore, India for six months to work as an IDEX Fellow. I guess some people think that is reason enough to start a blog or whatever because everyone keeps asking.
For anyone who is similarly averse to blogging clichés, fear not; I will not share detailed thoughts on Donald Trump possibly being the antichrist. Nor will I only share stories and photos that have been edited to show my life in the best possible light. My life is messy, my opinions are messy, and I’ve heard India is messy too. If you bother to read this blog, please expect messiness, confusion, and many many references to the collective work of Tina Fey.
I’ve decided to call this blog To Be Determined because every time I tried to brainstorm something clever or fun I drew a blank. I also think it’s a phrase that fits my current stage of life. I’m twenty four and it seems that my life is just a string of hesitant transitions, confusion, and a million ideas but no definite plans. My face has basically looked like the bewildered emoji for the past few years; big eyes, raised eyebrows, and all my teeth showing. Somewhat miraculously, with the unearned self assurance only a privileged millennial can muster, I have pushed forward, determined to get to where I want to be even if I’m not quite sure where that is yet. So To Be Determined it is.
I want to keep this blog an authentic account of my experiences, both in India and in life in general. Just so you have a better idea of who I am, below is a list of truthful statements that really get to the core of who I am:
- I brush my hair once every 3 days also, in full honestly, I only shower once every 3 days. Not to conserve water or because I think we’re killing our immune systems with our obsession with hygiene but because I would rather be doing literally anything else
- I have eaten just a 12 oz block of cheese as a meal
- I have eaten a 12 oz block of cheese and a baguette for a meal
- I don’t feel particularly prepared to go to India and I should probably focus on that because I leave in two and a half weeks, but it’s Stars Wars week and that takes precedence
- I have seen the entire series of 30 Rock five times
- I cry whenever one of those Pass it On commercials comes on
- I am on level 1143 in Candy Crush (terribly embarrassed about that one)
- All I ever want to do is curl up and read a very lengthy historical non-fiction book. Preferably next to a fire place. With a coffee. Nope, with a latte. And a bacon gruyere croissant. And then probably a chocolate croissant an hour or so later.
- I’m not 100% sure how much money I owe in Student Loans, but I know it’s a lot
- I think everything is going to turn out alright in the end, and it it’s not alright, it is not the end. (Yes, That is a direct quote from the gem of a movie ‘The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel’)